There’s been lots of advice offered here on the Educate and Entertain blog about how to get gigs.
Today, I’m presenting a comprehensive guide to NOT getting them.
Musicians, storytellers, puppeteers, and performing artists – if we just follow these simple steps, we’ll be sure to keep our calendars nice and clean.
(Not) Getting the Gig
#1. Don’t check email
Yes, we have an email address listed on our website and promo materials, but everyone understands that we don’t really use it.
#2. Don’t respond to email once we’ve seen it
We’re busy – why didn’t they just call us, or email a second and third time? Surely they have nothing better to do.
#3. Don’t check our spam folders
Because our email service provider and anti-spam software are 100% accurate in determining what we should – and should not – see.
(Seriously, I can’t tell you how many gig requests I’ve found in my spam, junk, and “promotions” folders over the years. I now check them daily.)
#4. Don’t return calls
They can wait.
#5. Give lots of real-life reasons why we couldn’t/didn’t get back to them
They really need to understand how hard our life is.
#6. Don’t update our website
We just don’t have time. They’ll be able to tell how committed and professional we are by that great promo picture we have there (where our hair looks awesome, doesn’t it?).
#7. Don’t send contracts back
Just go ahead and leave them in that big pile on our desk.
#8. Don’t make it easy for the venue to promote the show
Don’t provide a sample press release, photos, posters, etc – they should have to put in lots of hard work to promote us.
Gig Day
#9. Don’t show up on time
It’s fine. Musicians and artists have a sterling reputation for always being organized and punctual, so our contact person won’t be the least bit worried when we’re running late.
#10. Late for the gig? Blame it on some external factor
The booker surely doesn’t realize we could have just left earlier, allowing enough time for anything unexpected.
#11. Treat each venue like a performing arts center
They live to cater to acts like ours, and really have nothing else they’re concerned with beyond making sure the experience is optimal for us.
#12. Keep the focus on us
Don’t worry one bit about the buyer’s needs, or making it easy for them to have us there; they don’t like things to be easy.
Afterwards
#13. Don’t let them know how much we appreciate the booking
No warm smile on our way out the door, and please, no thank you note.
(If we leave them really happy, this one might not matter as much, because they WILL want us back. Still, some heartfelt thanks can go a long way towards keeping us top of mind for the next time.)
No More Good Paying Bookings!
There. It’s really that simple. Thirteen steps to an open calendar.
How many of these “best practices” are you currently employing? Got a new one to add to the list? The “Comments” section is just below.
About The Blog
Since leaving a white-collar marketing job in 1992, Dave Ruch has been educating and entertaining full-time in schools, historical societies and museums, folk music and concert venues, libraries, and online via distance learning programs.
Along the way, he’s learned a great deal about supporting a family of four as a musician.
The Educate and Entertain blog provides articles, tips, encouragements, and how-to’s for regional performers (in any region) interested in making a great full-time living in the arts.
Dear Dave,
Which do you prefer for the thank you note and why? Snail mail or e-mail? THabnks
Hi Rochelle – I prefer snail mail. It takes a little more effort, which shows that you truly care, and it also sets you apart from the pack (people tell me they mostly don’t get “thank yous” from performers, and when they do, it’s usually by email).
Thank so much for this, Dave! Now I’m all set to send thank you notes this year. I now know what to do!
Yay!
I agree with the most of what you all said.. I am not sure about how you think about the points #11 and #12. So I want to leave some thoughts and experiences from the last 30 years working as a Pro.
I see myself as an artist first and I do around 60-70 % concerts (people buy tickets to see me) and 30-40% for private occassions. People engage me, because they want, what I do and not because I do what they want. It was a long way to there and I like you to read the following with this in mind. I have been spending a lot of time with my instrument, I practiced tenthousands of hours and played about 2.500 gigs to get to where I am now.
I am a professional on all hands – from the first call to playing a show.
So what I expect is the same in return: a parking lot, a tidy stage as big as agreed, a tidy backstage or minimum a seperate room to leave the cases and personal stuff and to change my dress before and after the show, a backline in a good condition, a middle-class meal (Pizza, Döner, Bratwurst, Hamburger and other junkfood are NO MEAL) – playing 100-120 shows a year I don’t want to get nutritional garbage to eat.
I am not a provider for anybody who pays me. There are some reasons why peope book me: my special kind of music, my skills and my special kind to create, to play and to moderate a show – that’s my service. But appreciation for me is no one way road and with 52 I have enough self-esteem to name these points. It took me years to think and to live that way, to quit venues, managers or bookers with no apreciation for my work not providing a work-environment for me to play a good show, making bad routings and contracts.
For me, this has nothing to do with proud but with respect for each other and working together in a partnership and not in a one-way relationship of dependency.
Hi Peter – I’m so glad to have your perspective here, and I agree with you 100% about the two-way relationship. Mutual respect is key, so if points #11 and 12 made it sound otherwise, that’s my fault. For me, I like to be as “user friendly” as possible, and people who book me have said repeatedly how much they appreciate that. There’s a big distinction though between being accommodating and getting treated poorly or taken advantage of, which has fortunately never happened to me but certainly could. So again, your points are well taken.
#18. Show up wearing grungies, take excessive time unloading your crap in the front of building where other guests are also waiting to come in (maybe in wheelchairs or walkers), and use foul language while unloading.
#19. (for church jobs) while setting up, loudly laugh and otherwise make fun of the faith traditions of the pastor that hired you (I actually had someone do this….laughing about XYZ of a church relic, wondering out loud if the pastor was a sex abuser, etc…).
#20. While in the bathroom, talk across the stalls to your coworkers about how ridiculous the mother of the bride looked…then open your stall and find her waiting there with a not pleased look on her face.
Dave is spot on as usual. Thank god I’m not guilty of making these mistakes. Making these blunders will cost you potential gigs, referrals, and repeat customers. Being late for gigs is a pet peeve of mine. I know a face painter who does this all the time. One day last year, she had two gigs booked for the same day. She was late for both! I’ll never recommend her to anyone. Also, going in with a “rock star” attitude with high demands will do nothing more than alienate clients. A simple “thank you” goes a long way. Remember-we need them far more than they need us!
Well said Bill! Thanks for jumping in here. A fellow musician said something like this to me recently: “we’re not there to get OUR problems solved – we’re there to solve THEIR problems.”
Sounds like maybe one or more of these scenarios has happened to you at a wedding gig?
#14 Don’t bring any of our followers to the gig. After all that’s the job of the venue.
#15 Publicly blame the house sound engineer even when it’s not their fault that our sound was crap.
#16 Leave immediately after gig. Don’t hang around to chat to potential new fans. The venue will understand what we’re very important and busy people. In any case it’s their job to recruit new fans.
#17 Don’t treat the backline with respect especially if it’s the house backline..
Go Frank! Awesome contributions…